For the first interview of the Clavvy Women Series we have invited the girls behind STS Talks. In this podcast, they discuss topics we have to deal with every day in this day and age. Things that people don’t really talk about.
One of the hosts, Soehayla, shared her perceptions and thoughts about women empowerment with us. She is studying Psychology at the University of Amsterdam. Besides that, she has two side-jobs and runs the podcast STS Talks together with her co-host Mahado.
Soehayla’s vision for the future is very clear. She has big goals and dreams, knows what she wants and is not afraid to work hard to achieve them.
Let's get inspired by her! 🖤
How do you feel about the topic of women empowerment?
I think of the topic of women empowerment, that it is necessary since we live in a society where women feel like they are being neglected in a lot of things. For example job pay, equality and things like that. I feel like, as women, we have the obligation to do stuff to help other women to feel good about themselves and to be inspired and empowered. Also for the men I think it is important to participate in women empowerment but when we reach a point where women and men are equal, that is I think the time to stop to empower women in a way that men are being dragged down. Because I feel like, what happens now in feminism is that women are empowered, which is great and I love that and that is because we have a lapse in empowerment; men already have the power and women feel like they need to be more powerful than men nowadays. I don’t think that that is right because I don’t think that any of the genders should be more powerful than the other. So, we can continue to empower women but let’s continue to empower all people in the world. Not just women.
What is your definition of a powerful woman?
My definition of a powerful woman is a woman that is herself, does what she loves and feels good about herself.
What makes you feel confident?
The fact that I know myself, the fact that I know what drives me and what makes me me, my personality. That’s what makes me confident. Not the way I look or the way I present myself or anything. Just that I know what makes me ‘me’ and that I know I’m different from all the people in the world.
What do you admire about yourself?
I admire a lot of things but what I admire most is I think, the fact that I never had enough and that I’m never satisfied with where I am. I’m grateful, that is also something I admire. I think that could be more but what I admire most about myself is the fact that I always challenge myself more and more, keep myself busy and push myself.
What advice can you give to women walking the path of empowerment?
Get to know yourself before you get to know another person. Love the person that you are. Realize that no one is you, that by itself is powerful and can help you through life. When you realize you are your own person and you are different from all the other people, you do what makes you feel happy and makes you feel good and beautiful; I feel like that is the only way to walk the path of empowerment.
Can you think of specific things that you could do to achieve that?
I think it is in the simplest things. I know it sounds silly but even the smallest things are the first steps. Like, making a personality test. That could be the psychologist in me, telling you to take a test, but I think it is really good because it tells a lot about you. When you realize what your personality traits are and your characteristics, then you realize that who you are is just something you can not do anything about. If you realize ‘I’m an introvert’ or ‘I’m an extrovert’, or when you see in the test that you are an assertive type or not an assertive type, that is the only way to feel good about what makes you you. If you don’t know who you are, how can you feel good about yourself? What are you gonna feel good about? The way you look? That’s something that changes but what makes you you, the core, are your characteristics. If you know that part of yourself, then you can love the woman that is inside you. Empowerment comes after that. Knowing yourself is the first step. Getting to know yourself, writing down what you are good at, what you like to do, what you don’t like to do, what your goals are in life, what makes you happy, the people around you. Look at the people around you, are these the people that inspire you? Or are these people that only drag you down, make you doubt yourself, make you feel not grateful, do they complain a lot? People that want more for themselves, that are the kind of people you should surround yourself with. Those are the small things that really make a difference. Once you know who you are and what you like to do, then you can make steps in doing you.
How do you think we can support other women to feel more confident, limitless and powerful?
Never tell someone that they are thinking too big. If someone wants to be the next Michelle or Barack Obama; don’t tell your people around you that that is out of their reach. Never tell a woman that ever. Never tell a person that ever. That you can not achieve things or that something is too big of a dream. It is the most discouraging thing and it is also not true, you don’t know what a person can achieve. I feel like that is what we have to do, but also not drag each other down when we are succeeding. I am not saying that you should support every woman that is doing something you don’t support, I am not saying you should support everything. I am just saying, we should accept each other because we are already not accepted by most men. So the least we can do is accept each other and not drag each other down for our own sake, or to look good in front of other people, to look good in front of men. I think that the only way that we can do that is to go back to knowing yourself. If you know yourself, you will develop a sense of self-confidence and when you are self-confident you won’t even feel the need to drag other women down. With the empowerment of yourself, comes empowerment to other women. It starts with yourself.
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